I have a confession...

Actually no confession from me since I am pretty blunt for the most part, but today I read a blog by Smitten By which really hit home ... actually a lot of things have hit home lately.  I think that her confession really affected me because is sums up a lot of how I feel.

http://www.smittenby.net/2013/03/17/i-have-a-confession/ 

I know that most people who know me KNOW that I am LDS (Mormon) I have never been ashamed about proclaiming my religion but I have been ashamed about my behavior and how exemplify what a Mormon really is... pretty much for the past 7 years I have been pretty "JACK" and it has really sucked because I feel like a hypocrite at times when I proclaim I am a Mormon. 

Sometimes our past haunt us. Well maybe "haunt" is not the right word because it's more like regrets of what could have been and what should have been. 

Sometimes I feel that because I did the things I was supposed to do like they tell us in church then everything should have been hunky dory but I forget that other people in my life may not always make good choices. 

Mormons call this free agency.  Sometimes that person's free agency affects the people that are choosing the right.  Kind of like when a good person gets killed by a drunk driver.  Make sense??   Well, I was making good choices and everything should have been happily ever after, but someone in my life that I truly loved was not and it affected my (our) happily ever after.

After that I built up a lot of resentment towards the Church not wanting to hear that I am a Child of God, not wanting to hear that Families are Forever, etc.

I still knew the Church was true because I have seen the blessings in my life.  The awesome kids I have.  My parents and my siblings.  What more can I ask for?  But I was not living my life as I should have been.

I have made a decision today and I want my life to go on without the hurt and without the regrets!

I guess more than anything I want to say

I AM MORMON!!
I know it!
I need to live it!
I love it!